


Regal

by phynxfeather



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21801931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phynxfeather/pseuds/phynxfeather
Summary: When they placed the crown atop his head, he fell apart.It made Minhyung fall apart too.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Park Jisung, Lee Minhyung | Mark/Lee Jeno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Regal

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure many of you know that I write gender bender so in this I do not mention Minhyung's gender. It is up to you what you want the gender to be. So that means this story is first person. Meaning that this story is written off of Minhyung's pov and everything is described in that way.

I’ve seen many things in my life working in the castle yet I had never seen someone as mysterious as him. He was a king handed the crown after his father’s time was up and he was a man of only silent words that left his eyes and flew right into the ears of those who knew how to hear them. He would often look upon himself in the mirror trying to spot the man on the battlefield yet all he could see was this shiny regal life.

He used to be a knight in rustic armor and he would have it no other way. It’s the life he had always wanted until the crown was laying atop his head and his world was the echoing halls of the castle. Only I knew that he felt safe in his chambers and only I knew what brought him his downfall. Ultimately the people. Internally, himself.

I had always minded my own business for I was nothing but a simple worker. He was a man that held the kingdom within his fists and squeezed upon his own heart so tight so that the people could be happy. He wanted to live the legacy of a strong king but knew on the inside that he would never be able to. It wasn’t what he wanted. Wearing the crown was only a formality upon many that he took.

King Jeno was not fit for this life and he knew he never would be. Princes in this kingdom never had to busy themselves in royal affairs if they didn’t want to. They had to earn all there was to know about being king but could do whatever they pleased before they served. That’s why King Jeno had wanted to be a knight; it was his passion and could be seen right inside his eyes. Passion that flew on the wings of birds that would one day stop flying.

Now the king felt like a lone soul staring at himself in the mirror which held all his truths. Like it was his only friend and the only person he could turn to was himself in the mirror. King Jeno was nothing but a scattered man and could never find it in himself to rule the kingdom without falling apart on the inside. Like he had to trade who he was to be able to be a king that this kingdom needed.

I was a mere servant and had never talked to the king until the night he spoke his true feelings in front of someone that wasn’t himself. He was in his chambers preparing for sleep to take him away from his thoughts. There were always plenty servants in his chambers at night time making sure they were clean and that the king didn’t need anything else.

I was the last to leave as I was placing his clothes carefully on a hanger after they had returned from being ironed. He couldn’t see me standing by his wardrobe as he was by his bed. I knew he knew that I was still there because he didn’t go straight to bed. He’d been pacing and thinking upon his life. How everything and everyone around him didn’t know what was in the caves of his heart and the forests of his mind.

I tried not to feel uncomfortable while I tried to finish up my work as I could no longer stand the heaviness of his sighs. As I hung the last suit I heard him speak.

“Do you believe I’m a good king?”

I walked forward into his line of sight. I didn’t see the strong king that everyone saw everyday. I saw a man with oceans of questions in his eyes as he gripped onto the front of his shirt, looking at me with pain. Pain?

“Sire,” I looked down, “you’re a wonderful king.” I had no idea back then why he would ask me such things. I just wanted to answer him like any other would, to be a good person in his eyes. I knew though. There was an outer shell to his reign. Another strong force ready to take his place after he’d wallow in his misery so much that he’d crumble away. No one would even begin to pity him.

He had shaken his head and turned around. “No, no. That won’t do. I’m a terrible king. My heart doesn’t hold any passion for this and the darkness inside isn’t letting me be a good king. Never will I be the king this kingdom deserves. I can only hold my head high until I can no longer.”

I looked up at him. His figure was as if it was shaking. I never understood what he meant by those words that day. I only understood the sheer pain he had and how it was devouring him. King Jeno had never looked happy as a king. Not the day he was crowned and not the day the crown fell off his head.

***

After that night, the king talked to me about his feelings a lot. He was trapped inside this role and felt selfish as he crumbled beneath his own grip. Holding himself together and trying to rule this kingdom was taking a mental toll on him. There was always something the king never told me about. Something I knew he was keeping from everyone and saying it would be the answer to all his problems. It was the main problem that he had never spoken of and a problem that would reveal itself again and again that the king wouldn't even be able to focus on his motives.

I was always there to listen to him. To his sorrows and his experiences through the day. I wouldn’t say much, but would acknowledge his words. I knew he just wanted someone to listen so that maybe one day they would remember him. I did so. I listened to everything he said.

There were three particular times that stood out to me.

***

The first time he’d walked into his chambers and dismissed all the servants telling them to come back the next day to finish things if they needed to. There was something peculiar about the king. He would always take his crown off before entering his chambers and have it placed somewhere else. Like this room was his safe haven where he didn’t have to think about his destiny as the king.

“Minhyung.”

He stopped me before I could go. I turned to look at him and nodded. “Your majesty.”

He turned to look at me as he sat on his bed. The look in his eyes was off. Like the life had been sucked away from them and then stood there with emptiness and no emotions. “They don’t like me,” he spoke, “I can see it in their eyes. They don’t like the man that I am becoming and have become. Overall they’d always looked at me with those eyes. The type that eat you alive before you can even register it.”

Today I walked past the training knights,” he continued as he sat on his bed, “and I felt the tips of my fingers tingle when I saw them wield swords and shields. I wanted to be them. A simple man who everyone didn’t rely on. I noticed how the advisers and even my own brother looked at me. They hate me and gave me the types of eyes that would make me feel guilty. I felt guilty you know that?”

“You shouldn’t.”

He looked at me. “Why? Are you like those people who hated me since the day I came to rule? Are you half the reason I can’t even embrace what I’ve become? It’s all their fault you know that? Or,” he looked down, “it’s half their fault. They never wanted me here anyway. I never wanted myself here anyway. I should just disappear. I think I’m better that way.”

I shook my head. “Your highness please don’t feel that way. I know—”

“Only you know!” he snapped, gripping onto his sheets. “Only you know how I feel! My head would be on a guillotine if they found out what I feel.” He looked at me with daring eyes. “Don’t you dare tell anyone, it is not your place.”

I nodded. I was scared but I saw past my own fears to his own. He continued to tell me about his passions and how this life wasn’t for him. They didn’t want him as king and he didn’t deem himself fit as a good king for them either. He didn’t want his life to be regal. Born royal blood, King Jeno was fighting with himself trying to break his own self down so he could maybe do what his blood asked him to.

I stood listening and never getting a chance to tell him that I wasn’t one of those people. I didn’t want him off the throne. I’d always seen him as a worthy king. I was never one of those people.

***

The second time was in heavy frustration. He’d walked in and waited for all the servants to leave as he walked to his dresser and leaned down to open a drawer. I knew he hadn’t asked me to stay but I did nevertheless. I felt like he had something to say to me or else he’d just wallow there by himself or maybe who knew, break something? I could see the way he was starting to crack more and more by the passing days and couldn’t do anything to stop it.

He turned to look at me from through the mirror. I wondered if he was going to ask me to leave but instead he stood straight and turned around. “You see the way Jisung has been acting?”

Jisung was his younger brother. The prince who made life seem like an amusement park and those around him like cotton candy. He was a strong man and held all the courage that King Jeno didn’t. Prince Jisung had it all in place and when he’d marry he would marry the princess he was in love with. The princess who would make the sun shine brighter when she’d smile. Jisung was the foil to Jeno’s character. He was the opposite of a broken man.

“I don’t understand.”

“Minhyung,” he clenched his teeth as he spoke my name, “you don’t understand. Of course you don’t. I can see it though,” he walked past me to go stand in the window. The moonlight made him glow. It was like a call to save him from all this and it seemed that even the moon could keep him happier than the people in this world. Those around him were tearing him to pieces and he was a hound shredding at himself faster.

“I,” I stepped closer, “don’t. You’re right. But your highness I want to understand. I don’t see what you see, we are so different after all.”

He looked at me, a gentle look in his eyes. Like he was at peace for a moment. “You’re right, we aren’t the same. Yet I trust you with my dangerous thoughts. I hope you know to keep them to yourself.” Now the gentle eyes were stern. He was a man of many emotions yet he had to have his guard up constantly. The wind would tell the trees about the king’s unhappiness and the trees would pass it on to the water. They all knew, yet the only human was me. I felt it as a burden and at the same time as a gift. Maybe I’d be able to help him. Maybe not.

“Of course I will your highness. I would never tell anyone.”

His mind always worked faster than mine I’d noticed. In a split second he stopped threatening me and continued on about his younger brother. The smiling prince. “Jisung may be my brother but I do not love him.”

I thought maybe he did. I didn’t blame him as I looked to the perfectly varnished flooring. “That’s alright.”

“No,” he was frustrated. “It’s not alright. It’s because it makes me look like the bad one when I’m sure he would choose his enemies before me. Yes, in front of the world we show a brotherly love like no other. Two half brothers that love each other dearly but Minhyung, I do not. I doubt I ever loved my father as well. The only person I ever loved was my mother who left me too soon.”

She left me at the hands of my father who choose to remarry and neglect me for his beautiful wife and smiling little boy. I was a hollow boy after that. I never knew love and never yearned for it unless it was of my mother’s. That is why I distracted myself with knightship for it took me away from the happy royal family. Minhyung I was merely an ugly black spot in their pool of white.”

His heart was breaking. Tides were crashing into him and drenching everything in the caves as his eyes showed strength. He did not want to waver and look like he was complaining. The king never spoke of his sorrows to a soul as he did not want to dwell on what was and instead wanted to show the kingdom that he was thinking of what could be. If he complained, they’d call him selfish. More selfish than most already called him.

They’d say he was foolish to complain about not having a mother or even a father who loved him because ultimately he was the man on the throne. He was the one with a crown and everyone there at his beck and call. That’s how poisonous they were. They expected riches to be able to fill the void in the king’s heart.

Like he wasn’t human.

I did not blame him for wanting to step to the side and not be with his family. At that moment I didn’t understand what bothered him about Jisung. What else besides the fact that he was raised with so much love and care while King Jeno chose to step to the side? “Your highness,” I finally spoke, “I do not blame you for stepping aside. I understand that you believe he doesn’t love you.”

“But you’re wondering what bothers me about Jisung, right?”

I nodded.

“It’s because,” he looked at himself in the mirror. The king who was breaking more and more by the second. “He wants my life. Can’t you see how ready he is to take it all away from me? He’s so close to me these days and I’ve heard talk. You know how they say keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.”

I looked at him through the mirror, eyes wide. Had there always been a small crack in the top corner? Hadn’t I ever noticed how the prince was so sweet that he left the king’s teeth aching? It all made sense now. It must’ve been why the king was so against his role and why he never seemed to be pleased with himself. He hadn’t grown up the happiest boy and now his passions were taken from him and he was sitting a regal king at the head of the table. His guests? They were there to feast on him, every sweet word poison down his throat.

***

I’d always figured that the king was like this because of his brother. Every time we talked that’s what I always thought as I’d been looking at the way Prince Jising acted. He seemed to love his older brother a little too much these days. The smiling princess was so sweet to him too. Like they wanted to slowly and painfully kill him and tear him out of the picture.

It wasn’t until the last important time that I noticed the king was worried about something else. The dark caves in his heart held many secrets that I had yet to uncover.

That night the king waited patiently for everyone to leave and even requested that I stay back. That night he wasn’t in the mood to vent or in the mood to talk about his disgusting sorrows. He had a solemn look on his face and he smiled at me for a second as he rose from his bed and walked over to where I stood in front of the mirror.

“Minhyung,” he smiled down at me, “I want to say that I’m so happy that I had someone to listen to me. Someone who just stood there without sharing their own sorrows. I would’ve honestly listened to yours too now, but for the while you listened to mine. I am forever grateful.”

I felt a surge of warmth spread through my chest and I smiled back. “Of course your majesty. I am here to serve you after all, and I will listen to everything you have to say.” A frown had overtaken his lips and I felt my heart break. Did I just make him frown? “What is wrong sire?” I hadn’t meant to make him frown like that.

He shook his head. “Nothing. I just thought we were past you serving me. I confided in you at least more than a servant, and I wanted to give you something before it was too late.”

I had meant to ask what he meant by too late that day. I know now and it’s painful to even think back on it. At that moment I was more worried about his feelings towards me. I wasn’t going to lie. I thought of him as my king and that I was only meant to serve him. “I’m sorry, your highness, I didn’t know if I should say something else. Please understand why I would think this way. If you think of me as someone to confide in, then I am happy to be that someone.”

He nodded. Now that I think about it, I wonder what he was thinking of at that very moment as he turned to open a drawer and pulled out a small pouch. It was red velvet with gold strings holding it together.

He faced me. “Minhyung this holds all the reasons. Why I’m like this and why I’ve already fallen apart. It was a team effort. This, those important ones in the castle, and me. We all destroyed me. Don’t worry though,” he had a bitter smile on his lips, “you didn’t do anything to destroy me. I liked to think you were the person who held me together. That’s why you’re the only person that can hold onto this. As now I can be a memory like my mother. She was always remembered in the most fond ways until she became repulsive for them all. Just like I will become.”

He’d said so many things and I didn’t understand them as he went on. His mind was always working faster than mine. “Your highness please slow down. I don’t understand.”

He shook his head. “Minhyung, I don’t have the time to slow down. In here is a pendant that my mother had given me and,” he opened his drawer again and took out a piece of paper, “this to read when I was of a suitable age. I was three years of age when she gave this to me before she passed away. When I was twelve years of age, I finally read it. I want you to read it too. I’m sorry for leaving this burden to you Minhyung. I can only trust you. Just know,” he placed both things on the dresser and placed his hands on my arms, “you are this young king’s most valued subject. I shall die knowing that someone cared.”

As his mother died young, so did he.

My heart was taken aback by this all at once. I couldn’t digest any thoughts that came at me and as I heard of the king and his passing the next morning, I could only whisper, “You were very valuable to me too, your highness.”

***

Those at his funeral were all empty hearted and no one cared as Prince Jisung was crowned king the next day. They were all so happy and congratulated him on his wonderful ascend to the throne at such a young age. As much as poison as they had thrust into King Jeno’s life was as much as sweetness and kind heartedness they would thrust into the young King Jisung’s life.

He’d done it. Married the princess and made her queen as a new era descended upon them. There they were, smiling as I held in my heart pain.

I hadn’t known the king more than his sorrows but his death took me the longest to recover from. One day they were all mourning and the next congratulating their new king. Only I wasn't taken by foolishness and a lust for power.

I had taken time off from the castle and then indefinitely resigned from my job. Working in the town with a lower paying job was better than being visually tortured with the thoughts of a man that left in vain. All he deserved was happiness and all he got was pain.

He deserved so much good but only lived in pain. He was a bird that flew in during its time of season and then left to hibernate. He never came back though. His memory would come back every day of his death anniversary for years to come. The only day where Prince Jisung wouldn’t be so present in his royal affairs as the mask of fake pain was slipping off his face.

I often thought of the king and all those things he’d said to me. After a while as I became more comfortable, still being unable to believe he was dead, I thought of when I’d seen him other times. Apart from the times he’d spoken to me in the safety of his chambers, the place he kept all his secrets.

I remembered him as a young prince who’d always had a stern look on his face. Back then I thought it was because he was training to be a knight and to be a strong-hearted man but now I understood. Even knights were allowed to have fun. This was merely a broken man who found no peace. Only when he took his last breath he could find that peace.

It took me a while to open up the letter because I was now living a life so dull that everyday seemed like a shade of grey. This man affected me far more than I would’ve liked and all the things I’d learned about him made me miss him. The people were so toxic. They didn’t feel sorrow and they weren’t upset that he was gone. They were going on with their happy lives as I felt the pain sink deeper and deeper into my heart. One day though it admitted me to open up the letter and to see what really caused the king to fall apart.

King Jeno was a brave man if one thought about it seriously. He wasn’t made for this world and yet he managed through everything that was thrown at him. He came like a soft and silent breeze that showed no signs of havoc and then disappeared after carefully piercing a heart. It was alright though. He’d been through a lot. Then when they placed the crown atop his head, he fell apart.

***

_Dear Jeno,_

_My beautiful little boy. I’m sure you listened to me when I told you to read this at a reasonable age for this letter is not for the faint-hearted. I am sure the world has made your heart hard faster than it should be for a boy your age, and I’m sure you often question why it must be like this._

_I apologize, my son. I wasn’t able to be there with you and keep you safe. I struggled even to give birth to you and now you’re such a little boy and I must leave you. It was the price I had to pay for a boy. A wonderful son like you. I know it’s my mistake for asking for magic because I knew that holding onto the pendant would make my life end fast._

_I know you have many questions but just know that I didn’t mean to leave you like this. I don’t mean for what will happen to you, to happen. Like your mother dies young, so will you. The pendant, I couldn’t get it away from me even if I wanted to. You won’t be able to either._

_So I ask of you my son, please just live life to the fullest for it will be no more. It is only you and I that well perish like this and I regret it all now. I know that things will change when I’m gone but please guard this pendant and try to belong in this world my son. Please._

_I love you._

_Love, your mother._

_✘ Minhyung I’m sorry for this. I know you don’t deserve this but there was no one else I could trust to give this pendant. Don’t fear it though. Only my mother and I are to live short lives. You will live a perfectly good life. I’d rather not be buried with this. Please do as you please with it as long as you do not give it to another person._

_Honestly Minhyung in this short life of mine, I've noticed that I have you to thank for accompanying me for a fraction of it. I wish we had forever for me to be able to hear you talk about yourself but we don’t. I’m sorry if my death makes you upset. Please try to understand._

_Take care of yourself Minhyung._

_Your friend,_

_Jeno._


End file.
